Holy week. Yeah I’m feeling it. I’m kind of sharing in the Passion, too. Well, first of all, I have to give up the comforts of my dearly beloved home to stay here in the countryside for our uncle’s wake – for ten days. I don’t have anything against it. That would be so unsympathetic of me, considering he’s my uncle, for crying out loud. It’s just that, I’ll have to go back and forth from here to the city every time I would need to submit my requirements to my future university (yeah, I’m going to college in June!). That means spending more than an hour for travel, one way only. What’s even great about this is that I would have to commute because we couldn’t disturb our PUJ’s or that would mean deduction from the day’s income.

There is absolutely no problem with having to commute, really, if only I could remember places so well! At this age, I tell you (and I’m barely seventeen), I could still get lost, and although it sounds funny, it’s more like SCARY to me. Going to the city, well, I know I could do it, but going to the countryside? Hah. Poor little soul.

God. Somebody better teach me how to drive.

While I’m in our uncle’s house, I’m a waitress, serving and pleasing the visitors AND IT FEELS FUCKING AWKWARD.

For the first time, I have appreciated asthma. I keep making the smokers an excuse from going downstairs especially when the guests are growing in number. Well, I really should be staying away from smokers.

One more thing is that I’m not a social person. I’m not people-smart like my sister and I hate dealing with strangers. I’ve been into really awkward situations like being introduced to someone whom they say is my uncle’s cousin’s niece’s brother’s aunt and get pressured to give the stranger a kiss and pretend to be really pleased to meet her though I don’t actually give a stinking shit whether she showed up or not. I know what you’re thinking. I’m such an ungrateful little bitch but if you were in my slippers, you won’t help but feel this way, too. Unless you’re my sister.

Yesterday, I went to the city to get my permission to take the placement exam. On my way back to the countryside (with mom & sis), I had to sit at the back of the front seat (which they call “back ride”).  Well I wasn’t so comfortable, unlike the rest of the passengers in the van. It was frustrating because we all had equal fees yet I got the most uncomfortable seat in the world, with those ugly dudes at the farthest end trying to get my attention. I was so fucked up thinking that I would have to face everyone including those dopes for the rest of the friggin’ trip. Well if one of them offered his seat, there could have been at least a reason for me to be grateful.

Oh, if only my mom and my sister moved a little faster, in the first place, I could have been able to pick a suitable seat!

Another problem with me is that I couldn’t take a proper bath if I’m not in our bathroom. I couldn’t move waste either. It’s kind of psychological and I’m having a really bad time. It’s like my movements are limited. It’s such a disadvantage for someone who grew up in the city to be in this kind of situation. I’m just not used to it and have no intention of getting used to it. I love my life back in the city, at home.

If you really think about it, though, ten days is not asking too much. Besides, it’s Holy Week and since I couldn’t fast because there’s always tons of food everywhere, maybe this would be the only way for me to “fast”. These things that I had just complained about is nothing compared to Jesus’ sufferings and I have definitely no right at all to complain.

Oh well.

It’s just that, a lot of things took place and I haven’t been through the whole ten days yet.

Geez. I’ve written a whole essay.